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Reetposter is in!

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O.O OH! *scrambles in chair*

oh dear! i've-- *frantically jogs random papers on desk*

you see i-- *puts porn back in drawer hides crackpipe* just a moment--

i'm so terribly unprepared, you see-- *knocks paperweight onto floor, spills whiskey*
so sorry!

so
very
sorry
this writing thing is compleeeetely different-- whole 'nother creature than drawing nonstop and describing the drawings without much story in place. so i know,
i KNOW *gimp crawls out of desk drawer and into floor vent*
that
NOBODY
has ANY idea what is going on in this story. but i'm afraid this time, for the first time, i have more functional written material than i have ANY VISUAL MATERIAL WITH WHICH TO PROMOTE IT. that has never happened to me before, i'm always all fluff and "o i haven't written that yet, this is out of order. LOOK FAKE SOUNDTRAX."
just haven't been able to draw lately, and who the fuck am i to submit writing without art. (also the beginning is not polished yet-- but unlike most of my projects, it HAS a beginning. and an end.)

so in lieu of more characters i wanged together this poster-dealie (sans credits, fuck that) of our lady lead Mag Saiyetovitz and some fire and a traincrossing the Bettis' hearse. and wtf you got eyes.
anyhow-- *clears throat*
did you like LOA? well, Retort's kinda like LOA--
only not at all, because the veneer of high-haired sci-fi megalomania has been stripped leaving only the sex, death, and interpersonal drama. which makes it more like J+J, only without the need i eventually felt to cloak that mess in some kind of gigantic global scheme to provide
'proper,'
'justifiable'
motivation for the characters-- but like J+J there is still a very scary bear! ...it's stuffed. ...horribly, i mean really horribly mounted specimen, a kid literally did it (it's bald in a lot of places.)

after 28 years on the earth, (and the last two immersed in tru-murder dramaz,) i realized people don't need huge speshul reasons to be good or terrible. most of us don't have any, and we do just fine. or terribly, either way, there's usually somethin' to talk about after.

basically in this thing-- without getting into the specific conflicts-- there's a hardware store and a mortuary, and the interaction over the years-- friendly, or fiery, or sexiful-- between the two families that run them. also a train. y'know that hits a couple people, and there's some white collar crime i dunno i'm basically making that element up as i go (sophomoric efforts at best; if i knew more about it i'd BE a criminal.)

...and that awesome '49 Caddy Superior, there's that too. *points to shoddy drawing*

... ...and, about the consensual incestuous affair-- *dodges shoe* HEY I DON'T LIKE IT EITHER BUT IT'S IN THERE get over it. it's grownups anyway.
not even the main event here-- yeah! that's right!
shit like that, that's practically just a FOOTNOTE in this story. *points hard into desk* shit's. that. buck. wild.
there's also fratricide.

NO SPOILERS.

om, it also has snow patrol? for a theme song? yeah none of the music is period.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Q3KFw…
the lyrics in the picture are theirs, be a good sport.

soooo if all that sounds painfully boring, get out now: there aren't any gun-slingin shapeshifters or child-splicing mad scientists and nobody is anthro (sooo tempted though...)
no bear-borne lung herpes or world wars, no hot Russian studs-- and the BDSM is very tame/old-timey and minimal (like REALLY minimal. it's a conservative time period. :shrug: )

what the hell am i thinking?
i'll take some questions--

"i miss LOA. :< "

well tough shit-- but fret not (less) because by the technicality of my own universe, LOA can never die; i mean Eden is the production entity of everything i write, right? that's how that damn story started. all those folks are just behind the camera now, fightin with Ka about fine plot details and trying to get cameo roles. and Retort will probably do worse than SiLicon Half did in theaters outside of Eden and receive terrible reviews abroad.
 
"i have a question--"
WELPPPP
lookit the time,
"--what's a retort? like, are we arguing?"
iiii've got like 5059 dialog skeletons to turn into narrative and still characters to learn to draw right, and my day job has me real busy also, so if ya don't mind... *slangs whiskey bottle shoos everyone out of office slams door*

G'NITE

edit: moved the (so far, only) character bio i did to scraps. i need to do nice ones, of everybody.
didn't wanna kill it off, but... y'know... front pages, and appearances and whatnot.
DAFUQ DA I CAN'T EVEN THUMB ANYMORE? lame ass shit.
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BillyJ's avatar
Kinda looks a little like you yo.