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LOA: just a bar guy... by sparkpenguin LOA: just a bar guy... by sparkpenguin
in a pleasantly surprising situation, i drew something today that is extremely relevant story material and also half good.

i know! i'm weirded out too.

Ka and Terry wind up spending a while together at Brumby's during a coincidental absence of her friends and inavailability of Pike's lounge-- so Ka is alone, and Terry isn't at Pike's. when the flower lady comes by the wasted, flirtatious Ka buys a photo of them together for a dollar. the night ends at her place after lots of erm... frisky tension, but rather than 'take it to tha limit' he just ends up putting her to sleep and taking a bunch of documentation that he and Grimm happened to need to stage her disappearance. he tucks the picture away also as it'd be dangerous for her to see/remember him until the plan goes through.

he does kinda wish they coulda "y'know" but he felt weird about it because the premise behind their little date-- while not planned, was essentially a lie. also not sure he wants to do dirty things to her since he thinks of her as a little ass kid. BUT OH WOULD HE.

at any rate, well into the farmhouse situation when they're all living together, Ka accidentally comes upon the photo while grabbing something out of Terry's office during one of the drunken card games in the barn. she "knew about" the night she'd met him at the bar as part of the story that led to her being their captive asset, but had forgotten all about the sultry nature of the evening and other fine details. things that would have made her more comfortable with the fact she had a nagging interest the old, weird, intimidating Ascellus in charge who seemed nightmarishly off-limits but always sort of awkwardly tender toward her. when she's held up staring at this thing in disbelief, Terry comes in to ask what the hold up is. WHOOPS.

there's a brief, feverish relief of all the sexual tension but everyone's waiting outside so they cork it and come back out like nothing happened and resume the evening casually like pros.

they bang after, though. that was a given.

but she's drunk so he feels guilty. again. :C
they warm back up in a few days. :3

that's how they ended up "together" or what you wanna call it. without this photo,
probably never woulda happened since his neurotic sense of responsibility REQUIRED her to make the first move, and there was no way she was ever going to assume he dug her that way since he's pretty dickish most of the time (yes sometimes even toward her bitch you ain't special.)

(i mean... bitch no one else can know you special cuz i'd catch heat for it.)

everyone knows a gal who ignores signals out of insecurity.

even so, there are those about *coughBaryx* who'd say their... relationship... is far from appropriate *coughcoughGrimmcoughNelsoncough* given the situation. *coughThirtyfivecoughhackcough*
and they'd be kinda right.

it was nice to stick my toe back in the LOA pool for a minute. :P
Terry could look better, but he tries to look older here to kinda ward her off. not that he complains when she won't leave.
she came out pretty good though. had some problems with the lines.

Prisma/Copic over Sakura lines, CG with JASC.
polaroid [link] by *Della-Stock
wood [link] by ~shadowh3
tv futbol [link] by *Tigg-stock
tv bright [link] by ~Amberstock
beer signs [link] [link] by ~traetonstock
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Cry4theDevil Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
You know I really like this one. I dunno It's surprisingly melancholy but sweet at the same time. It's like a distilled memory of you and the significant other out at your favorite bar just before last call and soon you'll have to go home. I dunno I might be weird, but it's my interpretation.
It's great kid.
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
thanks man. and i'm glad you see something in it that's significant. i always think to myself during a good night, focusing on some small detail in front of me, "this is going to be a memory soon. it's still happening now and i am enjoying it so much, but it will be a memory and i will have to go home soon enough."
MachinesBleedToo Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
You know, part of me wants to beat the shit out of terry for fucking someone he thinks of as a kid. LOL. I'm so fucking ragey about sex and men it's ridiculous. Reading the description even made me uncomfortable because of the sex references in it. :/

I really like this- the polaroid pictures always make me feel so nostalgic. And I really do love their expressions. The character interaction is fab here. The sepia kinda colours on everything make it look so memory like too. Aged, or something. It's beautiful~

BULLSHIT polaroid isn't a word, spell check. :shakefish:
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
i'm really sad you said that dude, you know i don't dig rape or try to write real-world adults in their 40s with 15ish y/o characters and call it "twoo wuv." :/ that's not what i meant by little ass kid and at any rate she isn't and they both know it. he just saw her when she was a kid. she's 25 though. and he's like... thousands of years old. he doesn't like, make her dress up in schoolgirl outfits or anything it's just awkward because of the prior association is all. technically everyone's a kid to a character like that, even an old ass lady was a baby shittin in diapers when he was out stealing cars. i'm sorry i'm just really disappointed you put that spin on it dude, it's not like that at all. and i'm not Max Hardcore here either.

i really like this picture, and i put lots of time into writing their relationship to be out of place and 'against all odds' but positive. of course, part of the dynamic is his sensitivity about people thinking exactly what you thought. :P people who know him, anyway-- anyone on the street would just see two normal adults with ten years between em. BUT TEN THOUSAND YEAR OLD BITCHES DON'T GROW ON TREES and the ones all about are busy or taken.

LOL even in all of this vampire hysteria has any of this yet to make sense??
MachinesBleedToo Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
Oh I don't think it's your fault- it's mine. I was more expressing my disappointment at MYSELF for looking at sex that way. It's something I've been trying to fix for months, but had no luck with. :shrug: I don't really know why I brought it up. I needed the vent, I guess- just cause I felt so weird.

I get the relationship, I mean shit I know people who've known me when I was younger- and we're like 8 years apart- and the protectiveness with the natural desire to bone me etc is there(though of course their relationship sounds A LOT MORE sincere than anything like that I've had lol.)

I don't even have relationships in my world. No reference of sex, anymore. There used to references to gabe abusing amz and the whole SEXUAL TENTIONZ between crystal and eli and amzarah and dimitri. But I threw that all out the window as soon as it all became gross and negative to me.

ANYWAY- my point is, I'm an ahole. Carry on then.
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
you're not an ahole (nice abbrev btw i wanna say it out loud that way more often.)
i just wish you weren't always on the bad side of the tracks, psychologically speaking.

i have a hard time seeing this like the cute happy "yay this is how we ended up together!" photo because you took it to a creepy place. i dunno why you'd wanna stay there. love is great. sex is great too, but trust me i know when you get a bad taste for it in your mouth it's hard to come back-- from what just happened with my friend (nothing rapey, just feeling used) i feel like i couldn't be intimate with anybody to save my life. i feel gross and undesirable and like my body is a joke. i GET being turned off by sex.

case in point, big secret, i couldn't think about LOA for these months because there is so much happy sex in it. and i feel sad and icky about sex.
but i know i'm coming out of it. part of retreating back to fantasy-land with this happy ol' couple is me not being bitter about sex anymore. so i kind of ahole'd back at you... and i'm sorry. because it was pretty much for dragging me back into Creepville when i only planned to stay for a little bit (and only on the edge of town lol.)

i understand why you said what you said. i wouldn't diminish any of it.
just... you know me. i fluff everything. even things that other people-- other characters even find risque. lol forget the ages... he's an animal. :|

i know it's not MANDATORY but i hope you can bring some sexehluv back into your story. i think being a stable relationship is good medicine for that.
MachinesBleedToo Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
I say it out loud all the time, I didn't actually NOTICE I wrote it too. >.>

I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to have that effect on you. I feel even more like an ahole now about the whole ordeal, I mean shit I'm the one who preaches DON'T LET YOUR PROBLEMS BECOME OTHER PEOPLE'S PROBLEMS etc etc.

And yeah. It's harder to go back now than it was before last year though. Even after being raped by four different people, I was still hopeful, I still enjoyed sex. But it took one fuckhead (the whingy naggy virgo I dated during my IT course who just wouldn't go away) to just take it too far. I'd had enough. Even in a good relationship I'm finding it really,really hard to look at ANY kind of sex as a loving thing. And it makes me sad. And I'm trying to fix it- but I'm kinda at a road block as to how, especially when all I hear on the news are rapes, sexual assaults and women getting their dignity walked all over.

I'll stop being so bitter about it, in time. I'm going to pursue counselling for that reason and for prep for uni as well. The sexual abuse specialist I saw here I kinda didn't end up seeing after the initial interview- because it was too depressing seeing kids toys in there- and she spoke to me like I was a kid, as most counsellors do. So I'll be going to a psych this time 'round.

You know, something hilarious does come out of all of this: I even feel awkward watching animals have sex. It's like WHOA SORRY I JUST WALKED IN ON SOMETHING PRIVATE or something. xD

It'll come back- it'll have to- even the rape references which I find unbearable to hear now. It's all a part of the story, and a part of real life. I suppose this is why I've stopped writing a lot of it because my own headworld makes me uncomfortable.

My biggest fear is it's going to attract sickos though, and fourteen year old girls with rape fetishes. For the love of all things holy I WOULD NEVER actually draw the scenes- that's territory I, for the sake of other people will never go into- but I'm still afraid I'm going to meet someone who dreams of raping someone, or being raped, and that sickens me.

Blah blah. Sorry I've been pouring out a lot of crap out at you lately. I feel that bad kind of selfish- if it's on my journals and submissions I don't feel so awful, but it's yours. I don't want to, or mean to, make it about me. I hope I didn't ruin this picture for you forever dude. :/
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
LOL i feel awkward about witnessing animal sex too. this one time there were two lizards boning next to me while i was on a smoke break. and when i noticed them they stopped moving and kind of looked around. BUT I COULDN'T STOP STARING. like i recognize the awkwardness, but am too pervy to relent. ...whateveer it was three years ago and they're probably both dead now.

it's good you didn't see that counsellor then. she sounds unprofressional as hell. tone is everything. a LCSW told me that-- when I was in therapy.

so don't feel selfish at all. it's a good thing, that you and mer, and a couple of other friends of mine, can be up front when we're upset. and not get hissyfitty and then avoidant.

and naw it ain't ruined forever. :P i like it again. and there is a slight creep streak in his character or he wouldn't feel bad. JUST NOT WITH HER, he's honest, not out to abuse her, just... y'know. he has man-guilt. it shows a little here in the hesitant smirk which i think is what turned me so quickly before.

don't let that Virgo fuck win. :|
he sounds like he enjoys putting people off. might as well be putting hairs in salads at McDonald's. "oh great now i'll never eat a salad again, thanks douche." it was his pleasure. DON'T LET IT BE.
you're on the right track.
and for that i'm glad. hate to put it this way, but it's one less thing to worry about! T_T
MachinesBleedToo Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
ROFL. I love how even animals seem to feel weirded out by our presence when they're fucking. xD

Yeaaaah she cracked up laughing at NOTHING. It was like, I'M HAPPY, LOOK AT ME, I'M HAPPY! NO REALLY! BELIEVE ME GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!1!!1

I suppose since we don't talk on AIM anymore, it's kind a suppliment too- so I feel better now. I'm surprised no one has like, replied to any comments I've written on your stuff- it contains such personal things, but since it's TO you I just don't care.

Well, he thought he was the best in bed, the biggest ladies man, etc- he was boring and unemotional and naggy. I just got tired of wanting cuddles but not getting them, and then in the mornings him rolling over cuddling me and I was like YAY but he'd try to touch me and I didn't want sex so it was like FUCKS SAKE IS THAT ALL I AM TO ANYONE EVER.

I can rationalize it. And I think it's just his ego, he doesn't necessarily want to ruin things, but he wants to ruin people who deny his awesomeness.
...So yeah in effect you're right.

Maybe I should start drawing porn again. :/ Maybe it'll help me vent things. At the very least, it'll challenge me to do something I'm normally uncomfortable with, and in these circumstances that's a good thing.

It's true. :p
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
make sex yours. not for other peope. it sounds arrogant, but... it['s the best way to approach it. not sell it, loan it, give it to deserving people-- it's JUST yours. like a gallon of gasoline after the apocalypse. people need to recognize it means something when you give it up. make them fight. even if it makes you come off as a bitch. they'll get the point. and anyone who fakes it to get at you will make themselves out to be a charlatan. and then ypou still win.

i'd quote madonna a bunch but i'm drunk as hell and have to type sooo slow.
vent away. in whatever way you eish--blood n gore or animals fucking or just plain sexventz.(just not on DA cuz you'll get B& but link to it plz even just to me lol.)

dude sounds like a prick. and i heard that a hundred times, so, i get it. i know it has so much more weight on your OWN end of the situation when someone says that. but he does sound like not-worth-it. (i get insukted when people say that because i take it persoanlly on my own judgment.)

and of course no one repliues on your comments. no one reads comments. they look at the picture for 2.5 seconds and then blast away with brief, obligatory commentary or just clear it from their inbox. it's not like the "old days" (24 months ago.)
(1 Reply)
jamierocket Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
Okay I'm really sad that I wasn't the first to comment on this. LOL
I cannot believe it's already finished. It felt like I was just at your house 5 minutes ago and we were just beginning to draw!! Waaaah you made it look so amazing. I don't even...
How did you make it look real and NOT real at the same time? My brain is about to explode.
Hate yoooou (jk)

But yeah. WOnderful poses and the most adorable expression on their faces. I like how Terry is all like "Ehh. Waddayagunnado? " He is more a gentleman than I thought.
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
that is the EXACT face mood. i should've named the deviation that!
"WEEELLLlllll...ordinarily this would be completely wrong and terrible, buuuut... eh. can't hurt. not every day i got a hot drunk chick in my lap."
but yes, a gentleman. only because he knows he's really a maniac and keeps it buried under guilt and discipline etc.

i can show you exactly how i did it next time you come over using the construction file. and what's funny is, even though i made it i have the same brain-exploding feeling. the photomanip parts look decently real (or at least Pixar-real) but then the anime drawing sticks out. like it's just a photo OF an anime drawing.

thank you so much Nikki.
and i forgot to say when you left, thank you for making that wine stop for me! i honestly thought you were gonna have some or i wouldn't have asked. that was awesome of you.
Hemloque Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Student Digital Artist
Oh my gods, Ka is so cute in this. It feels like forever since we've seen her and Terry together! Like I said, keep 'em comin'!
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
it does feel like forever. T_T and when i think about all the times i drew em before and go to look i'm like, mortified because the stuff is so old and bad. :P and there's less of it than i thought.

i needs moar.
thank you SO MUCH... sincerely... for agreeing! i might cut short on my "avoiding LOA" snap.
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
very awesome!
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Apr 7, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you, so much!
xxHarmoniousChaosxx Featured By Owner Apr 12, 2011  Professional Digital Artist
moon-glaive Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011
Maybe I'm being nostalgic because of the Polaroid, but I love this. That and they look happy. I love the coloring and their poses. <333
sparkpenguin Featured By Owner Apr 5, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you, so much! and yeah... nostalgic all right. -_- i almost went on a long tangent about one of those cams. XD JUST KNOW IT WAS SUPER NOSTALGIC.
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Submitted on
April 5, 2011
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