hhhnnnnnggghhhh.

i was working on something all huge and full of verve and purpose, but i hit a severe roadblock with it (with the lighting, too, wtf?) and now, since looking at it reminds me of all the time i wasted in a tangent that didn't work out at all, i can't open it or start working on it without feeling dread and disgust.
i want to do some other stuff, but i feel like a dirtbag when i ditch a way-too-involved project to work on something else "for a little while" because it always turns into years/forever. i have two other things backburnered for THIS friggin' thing i'm avoiding doing now.

^why's that news?

because nothing the fuck else is going on.

oh, i do have a pet spider now, a jr. Carolina wolfie who's about two and a half inches long when he isn't sleeping on his face in his burrow.
yeah-- so i found something horrific living in my room by my hats, and not only is it not completely crushed dead on sight for being soooo big and gross, but the decisions made after his discovery led to me needing to provide a habitable environment and now i'm buying it food. "why not let it eat shit you find outside for free"  i'm not digging around outside for hours; the $3/week for the sure-fire food source doesn't put me out, acquiring the spider was already free.
so anyway, this thing went from a violation of my space, to a expense-incurring responsibility. but no-- joking aside, he's a cool little guy, i love watchin him. i'm not in for a whole lot, as far as feeding/housing him right now, so if he croaks i'm not out like 50 bucks on a decent pet store tarantula w/ tank and setup n' shit. but i hope he doesn't, i'd be... sad. i wanna get him all huge and old and grizzly. :> i'm glad i didn't smush him. he's not even a bug to me he's so big he's like... "an animal."

that seriously is it, though. nothing else new.
we'll see what summertime brings.

take care, all!